Maximum Rock N Roll Vs. Alternative Press: Letters To The Editor (February/March 2006)

First of all, a few words. Some people didn’t get the purpose of my last MRR vs AP feature. Well, it has long been my assertion that the Maximum Rocknroll letters to the editor, typically, are less logical and more obnoxious than those that appear in Alternative Press. Sure they’re a different breed. But I justify it in terms that I find the arrogantly stupid a greater affront to my intelligence than I do the obliviously stupid. We all did stupid shit when we were young. When I was 15, I wanted to get my lip pierced like Tom Delonge. At least I no longer believer anarchy is a viable socio-economic system and dumpster dive. In that spirit…

‘Justus’ has a few slivers of wisdom on personal responsibility in Maximum Rocknroll #274, p11.

Dear MRR –
Has anyone noticed that Sparks is destroying the punk scene? For fuks (sic) sake! sometimes, after drinking 14 hours straight, passing out is something that needs to occur. Don’t get me wrong. I believe a 24-hour plus binge is good for the soul. However, if you do it on Sparks you didn’t earn it!

I recently narrowly avoided prison and found myself on probation here in Michigan for the next year. (I got a sympathetic lawyer to take a payment plan). If it wasn’t for Sparks, I would have been passed out a while before my “unlawful incident.” I beat up a Nazi who had come looking for me. I wasn’t around so he punched my girlfriend. She can hold her own (and did), but when I found out it I went to his house-home invasion, first degree. If not for Sparks, I would have beat his rat ass later. Maybe no home invasion. (Obviously the cops didn’t arrest the Nazi.)

Since all this bullshit, I hear Bretton (the Nazi) raped and beat his girlfriend, I hope somebody gets a hold of this fuck soon!

(Bretton became a Nazi in prison. He has a “Smash Judaism” tat on his chest and a swastika on his arm. He told me he wasn’t like that anymore, I offered to help pay to get them covered, but it seems he was still into them – obviously we parted ways.)

So Sparks may have started off a chain of events that led to a girl’s rape. It’s a stretch, I know, but try to keep an open mind.

Hey! To you annoying drunks who quote Sid and Nancy endlessly while inebriated. Stay away from Sparks! It make you more annoying than thought possible. I was way into Sparks for a minute. It is possible to kick! Even if you have to go to AA, just tell yourself “No Sparks today mate, pass the Wild Turkey.” Sparks is our new heroin (unless you’re Gouka from Japan-those guys can keep up with the Sparks). We need to stop the Sparks before the Sparks stops the punks!

- Justus

Hmmm… just goes to show real punx are more wary of hyper-caffeinated alcoholic beverages than they are of defaming others.

Meanwhile I’m wondering how Jim from Windsor managed to find the time to pen this letter to the editor -- which appeared in AP #211, p14 -- in between finishing his Masters Degree in Theology.

I would like to sincerely thank you for your nearly 20-page special on the oxymoron of “Christian punk.” It’s nice to have a detailed list of hypocritical shit bands to avoid.

Jim Meloche
Windsor, ONT, Canada

I’m grateful too, Jim. I hate those closed-minded zealots. Punx… UNITY!